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WONDERING Around: The Play in Self Care and Creating

I’m in the “collecting ingredients for a stew” mode.  When I begin a process of designing for an event like a retreat, I listen to ‘what’s up,’ for me, what I’m curious about, what lands on my desk top – web frequency, what emerges from the meditation cushion, and of course the dream scape.  It’s all fair game for the stew.

After my sit this morning, I began playing my shruti box (a drone sound) and singing/vocalizing aloud through a litany of phrases and words to get at the bottom of this place of discontent I’ve been feeling for several weeks.  This state of mind – heart – body, i.e. confusion, fatigue, irritability, cynicism, manifests impatience, more fatigue, discouragement, criticalness of self and others.  NOT a pretty place to live.  VERY unhappy place in fact.  I kept singing about what I thought I was unhappy about, and then it occurred to me.  This is doubt!  This is what doubt is.  It’s insidious in that I never quite know when it starts.  It can lurk around for days, weeks, and I do my adapting thing of ‘explaining’ to myself and others, what’s up, when it’s really just about doubt.  Self doubt. As I spoke that truth, my heart began to soften with the fatigue that goes with this state in my mind/ bodyspirit.  The tears flowed.  Beginning to clear….Phew!

So as I continue to listen and bring my own voice and the voices of others to the ‘design field,’ I’m circling with women who are writing about spiritual development of women, my own experience of  “timing” in life, May Sarton, Annie Dillard, “Mystic Tech,” what does nature have to say about soul – timing, economy of energy/resource.  WONDERING around….

 

CONSERVING THE BLESSING: Take 2

Ordain Candle - Harriet Platts

In Honor of the Blessing

Even through all the sorting, releasing, and theological deconstructing of the last decade, I’m conserving the blessing of my ordination offered to me by the Crescent Hill Baptist Church community in Louisville, KY, 19 years ago, March 20th. This blessing was offered in faith, that I would continue along my path of conducting a free and responsible search for truth and meaning, encouraging me to love my self well, and to work compassionately in the pastoral care of others, with Jesus as an inspiration and teacher.  Though I no longer call “Baptist” home, it is with a deep heart of gratitude that I continue to serve in a multifaith ministry role as a hospice chaplain, with my best intentions of embodying the “beacon of freedom’s light,” for all those I have the privilege of serving.

Ordination Blessing

May God bless you with the myriad colors of Her playful wisdom, teaching you to honor the best that is within you, and to carry the beacon of freedom’s light to Her people everywhere.